“Your Body, My Choice”: Disrupting Sexism and Championing Equality with  Boys Post-Election

By Justine Finn, Ed.M | justine@relationshiftproject.com  | Relation-Shift Founder 

As the rhetoric around us becomes more harmful, we have a unique chance to help young people understand how their words and actions shape the world. As one school leader, Sarah Schorn, says, “What you don’t say is just as loud as what you do say.” As teachers, parents, coaches, and leaders, we must seize this moment to disrupt sexism when we see or hear it and coach our sons and boys into becoming men who will champion equality. This resource equips you with conversation guides to support you in this critical work. 

1. Why This Conversation Matters: Setting the Stage

The election and its aftermath have led to a rise in harmful language and behavior, particularly toward women, girls, and marginalized communities. Comments like “Your body, my choice” and casual threats of violence or rape have become more prevalent, especially on social media. These remarks may seem like jokes, but they undermine women’s autonomy and perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes.

Key Point: Language like this is not just offensive; it contributes to a culture of misogyny that makes women, girls, and gender-expansive people feel unsafe. We must help young men understand the power of words and the importance of respect and empathy in shaping a more inclusive society.

Resource: 

2. Start with Empathy: Asking the Right Questions

To engage young men or boys, ask thoughtful questions that encourage reflection.

Questions to Start the Discussion:

  • “Have you seen or heard people saying things like ‘your body, my choice’ or similar comments about women and girls (or gender-expansive people) online?”

  • “What do you think that phrase means? Why do you think people say things like that?”

  • “How do you think it feels for women, girls, or gender-expansive people when they hear comments like that?”

  • “Why do you think some people feel the need to belittle or degrade women publicly?”

Goal: Encourage critical thinking about the language around them. Help them see how casual remarks can contribute to a larger culture of harm and how their actions can make a difference.

3. Explain the Difference Between a Bystander and an Upstander

Bystander: A bystander witnesses harmful behavior but chooses not to intervene.
Upstander: An upstander actively challenges harmful behavior and supports those being mistreated.

Example to Share:

  • In Social Situations: If someone makes a sexist comment about a girl, an upstander would say, “That’s not okay,” or “I don’t think that’s funny.”

  • Online: If young men see harmful comments like “your body, my choice” online, they can report the post, comment to challenge it, or privately message the person to educate them.

Key Point: Being an upstander means standing up for what’s right—even when it’s uncomfortable. This creates a culture where harmful behaviors are less tolerated, and everyone feels safer.

4. Give Young Men the Tools to Act in the Moment

Prepare young men to speak up when they witness harmful behavior.

Interrupt Harmful Comments:

  • “That crosses a line.”

  • “Everyone deserves respect, and that’s not what’s happening right now.”

  • “You don’t need to put someone down to make a joke.”

Support the Targeted Person:

  • “You shouldn’t have to hear that.”

  • “I’m here for you if you need support.”

  • “Let’s change the subject and talk about something positive.”

Why It Matters:

  • Support and Solidarity: By standing up for others, young men set an example for their peers, showing that standing up for women, girls, and gender-expansive people is not just important, it’s expected.

  • Building Confidence: Regularly acting as an upstander helps young men build the confidence to challenge sexism in more difficult situations.

The Fear of Ridicule:

  • Understanding the Challenge: Many boys fear being made fun of or ridiculed by their peers if they speak up. They worry about being seen as “soft” or “weak.” It's important to acknowledge that this fear is real, and it can be difficult to stand up in moments of peer pressure.

  • The Role of Courage: Remind young men that true courage is not about avoiding fear, but acting in spite of it. Being a leader means doing what is right, even when it feels uncomfortable. Every time they speak out, they help change the culture around them, setting a new standard for their friends.

5. Foster Empathy: Why Women, Girls, and Gender-Expansive People Need Allies

Understanding Impact: Help young men understand the emotional and psychological toll that sexism, misogyny, and harassment take on women, girls, and gender-expansive people. Often, these individuals don’t speak out because they fear further ridicule, retaliation, or dismissal. Their support in those moments can make all the difference.

Allyship as Action: Being an ally means amplifying a woman’s or gender-expansive person’s voice when they are silenced, standing by them when they are mistreated, and actively intervening when they are targeted.

Example: If a girl or gender-expansive person is pressured to post revealing photos or is objectified, young men can step in and say, “No one should ever pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do.”

6. Encourage Critical Thinking: Challenging Sexist Norms

Help young men challenge harmful cultural norms and peer pressure.

Question the Status Quo: Encourage them to ask:

  • “Why do you think it’s okay to talk about women like that?”

  • “How would you feel if someone said that to your sister, mom, or a close friend?”

Challenge Peer Pressure: Teach young men it’s okay to go against the grain.

  • “Just because others are making fun of girls or gender-expansive people doesn’t mean it’s right. You can set a better example.”

Practical Exercise:

  • What if a friend makes a demeaning comment about a girl?

  • What if someone posts a sexist meme on social media?

  • How could you respond to show leadership and support?

7. Educate on Healthy Masculinity and Countering Toxic Influences

Address the influence of harmful figures like Andrew Tate and other “influencers” who target young men with toxic masculinity messaging.

Resources to Use:

Curriculum/Lessons:

Organizations to Explore:

Videos to Share:

Final Note: Lead by Example

As educators and parents, your actions and words set the tone for what’s acceptable. Demonstrating respect for women, girls, and gender-expansive people—and challenging harmful behaviors—will help young men internalize those values. Every small action counts in changing the culture around sexism and misogyny. Your leadership today can shape the men of tomorrow—compassionate, equitable, and actively working for a world where everyone is treated with dignity and respect.


Justine Finn is the director of Relation-Shift, which she founded at the Harvard Innovation Lab. Relation-Shift works with middle and high schools across the U.S. to advance healthy identities and behaviors and to prevent relationship and sexual violence amongst middle and high-school aged youth. For the past 16  years, Finn has worked to advance the equality of women and men, focusing on creating inclusive workplaces and school cultures and developing the capacity of young people to engage in healthy relationships. Finn facilitates classes, workshops, and seminars across the country on gender, media representation, and the prevention of sexual and relationship violence and bullying. For more information, visit: http://www.relationshiftproject.com.